You Are My Sunshine
by PlanetOfTheWeepingWillow
Summary: Lili meets a Russian spy in the midst of WWII. An unlikely romance blossoms between the two, even when Lili's brother is concerned and, even worse, the world seems to turn against them. But Lili, nonetheless, is the one sunshine for Natalia, a woman everyone calls an unfeeling, obsessed witch. BelaLiech, yuri, BelarusxLiechtenstein, M for future themes.
1. Chapter 1

Lili couldn't help the smile of excitement from crawling over her face. She stood behind her brother, dressed in his tight, formal soldier's uniform. She held her chin high, partly from pride and partly because the collar was digging into her neck.

"A soldier walks with a straight back, stiff arms." Vash, her brother, said. He patted her shoulder comfortingly. She was nearly a head shoulder than he was, and he wasn't very tall to begin with.

"Yes, sir!" She piped up, smiling.

They walked through their small, rural town. Flowers bloomed all along the cobbled stones and brick fences. People walked by, nodding polite to the two soldiers. Lili wanted to be one, she had told her brother, and now he finally allowed her to wear one of his old uniforms and strut around town, to train, he said. Vash walked with his jacket over his shoulders, open in the front, and a rifle strung across his shoulder. The sun beat down on the quiet area, cradled in a nook between two mountains. It snowed often, but it also was greeted with warm sunshine even more so. Vash broke out into orders every few minutes, checking to see if she was paying attention. She was, and she couldn't have been prouder.

Lili was a small girl to begin with, and the outfit, slightly too big, made her seem even more miniscule. Her face, round, soft, caught the attention of many as an innocent girl. Her hair was perfectly cut, a sunshine blonde, and framed her face so that her eyes, docile eyes, glittered. Vash was built tough. He wasn't a tank like his cousin, but he could be intimidating when he wanted to be. And now he wanted to be. He knew there was a war waging on. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. The year was 1940, one year after Poland had been taken over.

The town continued life without any hint that they knew of the war. No one said anything. No one asked anything. Of course when bombs were heard not far off and radios broadcasted the danger, they could feel it. Couples, pregnant women, and children flooded into the country every now and again, just like in the First World War.

"Training your little brother to be a soldier?" One elderly woman, hard of sight, asked.

Vash reddened. Lili did as well and, timidly, corrected the woman.

"Ah, yes, nice to see the young women are fighting…" she said, tapping her cane against the stone. She adjusted her thick jacket around her, her head hunched forwards, and lips puckered, she walked down the street.

Vash looked at Lili briefly. Lili rarely left the house, unless she wanted to gather flowers from the garden or buy supplies from the market. Most people hardly knew she existed, unless they knew Vash.

"Are you thinking of enlisting into the army, Zwingli?"

Vash turned suddenly to the speaker, a broad, hefty man tended to crates of bruised tomatoes. Food was difficult to get, even here.

"No." Vash said. "Not yet."

Lili hid behind him, her eyes darting from one man to the other. She worried that her brother would leave. He was gun-crazy and loved battle tactics so that it could be deemed an obsession, but he never showed an interest in killing. Vash had said so himself. He refused war because he hated the idea of young men putting up their lives for pieces of earth and ideals beaten into their heads by higher authorities. Lili didn't quite understand. She wasn't slow, she didn't want to understand.

"What do you think of all this? One second the man says he'll help a country regain its pride, he rebuilds the economy—then he starts this war." The merchant shook his head, his heavy mustache trembling under his breath.

"I say we wait and see what happens."

"You're the best gunman in the country, Zwingli," another, younger man interjected. "I bet you could fight off anyone."

"Even a panzer battalion…" the merchant chuckled.

Vash hid his pride with a layer of indifference. "If it comes down to it, maybe I'll go." That was a lie, Lili knew, he'd never do it.

Turning back to Lili, Vash's harsh eyes bade her to move on. It didn't take long for them to be stopped again. This time Lili didn't hide behind her brother. The next person they met was a soldier. The woman gazed at Vash and then at Lili. "Shame you won't be fighting. At least, shame for those Germans. We thank you for not joining."

The woman was taller than Lili, thin, slender, but muscular. Her silvery hair was tied up in a tight bun beneath a pointed green cap. She wore a heavy light-green uniform with red strips down her shoulders. Her eyes flicked from Vash to Lili again. An unreadable shadow passed over them. Lili couldn't tell what it meant, but she felt suddenly very strange, as if a very important judgment had been made of her.

"What are you doing in our town?" Vash asked defensively. "I thought your Russians were fighting the Finnish."

"Yes, they are, but I am here on different business."

"Intelligence officer?" Vash ventured.

She gave him a sly grin. It vanished just as quickly as it appeared, rendering her features indecipherable again. "You may say that. I did not mean to stop you."

With that she walked by. When she left, Lili chanced a glance behind her. She saw the woman vanish behind a corner, her shadow dragging behind her lazily. Several people stopped to stare. It was rare to see a woman of such wintry grace in the town. Most women here were bright, warm, hardy beings. This woman seemed above them all, floating loftily on a cloud of sophistication and education.

"Who was she?" Lili asked.

"She's Natalia Braginskaya." Vash answered curtly.

"How do you know?"

Vash sighed. "I knew her brother a while ago, through some complex connections. Don't worry about it, Lili. She's just a soldier."

Lili almost pouted. She restrained her light pink lips from doing so with great effort.

"Let's go home." Vash said. His eyes were distant, troubled. Lili was tempted to ask what was wrong, but he wouldn't have told her anyway.

Several hours later, now escaped from the tight, hot suit, Lili went back to the town. Vash told her to buy fish if there was any. If there wasn't she should buy something she wanted to eat. He handed her the notes of money and locked himself in his office. She escaped their two-story house at the very edge of town, near a glittering blue lake.

She exited her front door, holding a purse in one hand and folds of her reddish-purple dress in the other. This was the dress she'd had for a long time, even back when she had longer hair. She recalled her thick braids fondly, but without regret. She cut them off for a reason.

The streets were inhabited now by groups of men discussing the war and politics. The town was bathed in dusky red as the sun set behind the mountains. She looked up at the sky, enjoying the sight of floating, fluffy clouds. She went up to the merchant who spoke with her brother earlier and shyly bought two apples, cutting into her money. She would have enough for a fish and, if she was lucky, some sweets. She had an undeniable sweet tooth. Her brother did as well, secretly. They had a silent agreement to keep a stash of candy in one of the drawers, just in case. It was running low. With a nod of his head, Vash signaled her to buy some.

Now, thinking of this, Lili nearly frolicked through the city. She was filled with bubbly happiness. Maybe they could be low on money, maybe there was a war going on, but Lili still found no reason to be gloomy. The sun was shining and the birds were singing! What else could she want?

She neared a crate of fishes, labeled at a much higher price than that morning.

The woman behind the crates caught her gawking. "They've cut off trade between us and nearly the rest of the world. What do you expect? This is what we get for being neutral."

Lili muttered something and bent forwards, examining the fish. They stank and didn't look at all fit to eat. She concluded that the meat would be stringy and inedible. Then again, bad meat was better than no meat. She couldn't remember the last time she or Vash had sat down and eaten a good plate of protein.

While she considered spending the rest of her money on one small, measly fish, someone else walked up to the stand behind her. She paid no attention to the other person, counting her coins. She nearly jumped when a hand touched her shoulder.

"Didn't I see you before?" She asked. Her German was perfect, without a hitch of an accent, as before. Lili didn't know how to respond to Natalia. She mouthed something and then resorted to one affirmative gesticulating.

Natalia nodded, her eyes wandered towards the fish, the same chilly blue as before, even in the changed light.

"You wanted to eat some fish?"

"Y-yes," Lili said at last, finding her voice lodged somewhere deep in her throat.

Natalia nodded again.

"You speak German very well, even in our Swiss dialect," Lili found the courage to say. She didn't know why she got so especially tongue-tied around this woman. She was shy, she knew that. She hated talking to people and feared them because they scared her usually, being so big. But when she got used to somebody she spoke openly and honestly, showing off her full intelligence fueled by years of homeschooling.

"Thank you," Natalia almost smiled. "How old are you?"

"Twenty one," Lili responded quickly.

"I see, and you live with your brother?"

"Yes. I moved in when I was fifteen." Lili tried to stop herself from speaking. This was a soldier she was talking to. She didn't know how much one word could mean to her, it could hold the key to valuable information. That is, if information was what the woman wanted. Maybe she just wanted to take refuge, but she wouldn't be wearing the uniform then.

"I'd like to buy that one," Natalia pointed to a healthy, fat fish.

The woman nodded and collected it, wrapping it in wax paper and sliding it across the counter, in exchange for the cash Natalia pulled from her pocket. She handed it to Lili silently.

"What?! No—I can't accept this!" Lili said, grabbing the fish in shock. She looked up at the woman, almost glowering at her.

"Well, I don't eat fish very often and I bought it. So take it."

She began to walk off, without even a hint on her face that she had offered any generosity.

"Wait!" Lili cried out, holding her hand forth, the skin catching the light and making it glow. Several people stopped speaking to examine the sudden outburst.

Natalia stopped, her arms crossed under her breast.

"Yes?"

"When will I see you again?" Lili said, walking up to Natalia, just one small step forwards.

Natalia's eyes widened. "You want to see me again?"

"Yes, of course, you're so nice and pretty…" Did she really say that? Lili nearly clapped a hand over her mouth. Natalia's cheeks turned a faint shade of red.

"Thank you. Come to town at twelve tomorrow." With that, no goodbye, Natalia hated them, she walked away.

Lili smiled all the way home.

* * *

_I do not own Hetalia._

_The title of this story is in reference to a rather well-known song (or lullaby, I suppose), sung by Johnny Cash and many others. I do not own that either._

_I call Natalia Braginskaya on purpose for reasons that, if this story is continued (hopefully that is the case), will soon become apparent. _

_I really love this story so far, and I hope you do as well. _


	2. Chapter 2

"YOU TOLD HER _WHAT?!"_ Vash bellowed.

Lili winced, staring into her frying pan. The bubbles of oil simmered around the fish, its thick white meat shimmering. She brought a wooden spoon to it, flipping it over. A deafening silence fell between them. Vash was staring at her outside the kitchen. A teapot sat dripping water in the sink. A red kerchief was tied to the handle of the refrigerator. A circular table was just to the left of the kitchen, covered daintily with a polka dot cloth. A single flower sat in the middle, poised in a clear vase.

"I just said I lived with my brother and I told her my age." Lili said at last.

"You gave her information! You know she's a spy? They drink all these 'unimportant' facts up and use it against the country. Don't you think at all?" Vash said harshly, already feeling guilty for having yelled at his kid sister.

"No, I think you're wrong. She bought me this fish. She's nice, I know she is…"

"She's a spy. She speaks perfect German. She's planted here. She'll leave soon enough with that information. And you let her buy you that fish. You owe her something now."

"No! She did it out of kindness." Lili continued to argue, hiding her face behind her hair. Hot tears sprung into her eyes. She blinked them away hastily. She wasn't a baby anymore. She could handle herself. She set the fish, cut in half, on two plates. Each neat half was then drizzled in a light colored sauce, something of Lili's own invention. She enjoyed experimenting with food and playing with tastes and flavors. She placed cut potatoes on the plates as well, walking over to the table, her dress swaying behind her. She walked too quickly, her bare feet padding against the floor. Vash knew he had hurt her bad this time.

"I'm sorry," Vash murmured quietly. "But I want you to be safe."

"I know," Lili said. She looked straight at him, her lips straining into a smile. "And I want you to be safe. I know you don't trust people very much, but you have to sometimes."

Vash nearly beamed. Lili was expert at discovering anyone's personality. She was hardly ever fazed by fake expressions. She had only to be around someone for a day to know all their secrets. But she was innocent. Vash knew she would never use it against anyone, he trusted her.

"And you want to meet her tomorrow?" Vash said after some time, sitting down at the table across from her on a straight-backed wooden chair. She ate quietly, nodding. "I see. Well, I'm glad at least you're meeting a woman. I'd feel less comfortable with you being around a man."

Lili looked up, furrowing her brows. "Why?"

Vash looked away hastily. "No, it's nothing. I'm just paranoid."

Lili let the subject drop.

That night she barely slept, poisoned by an unfathomable excitement. In several hours she would see Natalia again. In a few more hours she could look at those enchantress's eyes, at that milky-white skin, at that beautifully colored hair… Lili fell asleep at last to that thought. She imagined talking with that woman, finding that kindness locked away like a treasure chest, and just gazing at her… she had a beauty like winter herself. She had the cool, almost deadly kind of grace to her movements. Lili that night dreamt of a forest laden with snow.

The following day she ate breakfast alone. She couldn't find Vash anywhere, not in his study, not in his gun collection room, not even in the garden where he would most likely not be found. Lili worried about him faintly. Vash rarely ran off. When he did run off he returned with bad news. But, she didn't want anything to ruin what could be an amazing day. Again, the sun was out in an enameled blue sky. Only faint wisps of clouds at the very edge of the horizon obstructed it. Lili wandered their narrow, pretty house for some time, eventually returning to her room. Her bed was crammed to one side, books littering the rest and an easel on the other side. A half-painted picture of a bowl of flowers was on the front. She walked over to it, wondering if she would ever finish it. She started three days ago and hadn't picked up the paint brush since. The time was eleven forty. She quickly dressed in a checkered blue dress and, carrying her purse just in case, went out into the town.

She expected to find Natalia right away. She didn't. She ended up wandered the town for half an hour, dismay growing with each step. Natalia must have tricked her, or lied, or toyed with her. It hurt to think about that. She looked for her brother, too.

"Vash? I saw him at the post office early this morning. I haven't seen him since." The merchant who sold her the apples said, shrugging. He tugged uneasily at his mustache.

"Thank you anyway," Lili said. She felt like a lost puppy. Her brother and her soldier…

Her soldier?

Natalia wasn't hers to begin with. Natalia was her own woman, her own soldier. Lili only just met her. A hot flow of guilt flushed over her. She began walking, just walking. She let her legs take her anywhere they wanted her too. The landscaped changed beneath her polished shoes, from cobbled stones to smooth pavement to grass. Finally she found herself on the top of a hill, overlooking a yellow patch of sunflowers, facing the sun. She sat at the top, setting her purse on her lap. She placed her small hands behind her, turning her face up to look at the sky. She relaxed and then lounged. She gazed a long time at the sky, watching the clouds float overhead. She grinned to herself. That one looks like an elephant! That one looks like a woman! That one looks like a flower! That one looks like a bird! That one looks like Natalia!

Lili gazed at that one for a long time. A tuft of cloud peaked up, a head, with a long nose, making the profile of a woman. It could be any woman, but she saw Natalia. That woman had shown her kindness. She was always so secluded. That kindness was leaving a dark mark.

A shadow fell over her. She frowned. No cloud had passed over the sun. She turned her head, her hair catching in the grass. Natalia stood over her, her face bathed in shadow.

"I'm sorry for being late. I was caught up in something." Natalia said, sitting beside Lili. Lili perched herself on her elbows, grinning like an idiot.

"Oh, no, that's okay! I was just looking up at the clouds. Doesn't that one look like cat?" Lili pointed to a lanky cloud, one strand out like a tail.

Natalia looked up at it. "Yes, I suppose it does." She laughed suddenly, lightly. It was like the sound of ringing bells. Lili blinked at the sudden beauty of it. Lili had known only masculine, gruff company. Her brother's cousins came over often, all of them men. She knew a brunet musician, a burly blonde man and his albino brother. Sometimes others came over to visit, like a Frenchman who was always very courteous with her. Once she was visited by a very mean Englishman. He spoke French very badly, but Vash, a renowned polyglot, had no trouble understanding him. Now the presence of a woman was completely different. Once a Hungarian woman came over and it was a very, very long time ago. She hardly remembered her, but she recalled her being built like a Viking, a nomad her brother had called her. She was too tough, in a way, but it wasn't a bad thing. But Natalia was something different. She was… Lili felt a strange feeling spring to life within her.

"Why are you laughing?" Lili asked.

"I'm just remembering the last time I saw the clouds like this. I was with my older brother and sister. We lived on the countryside, so we always could play on open fields, like this, and look at the clouds. We made up stories. It was so long ago…" Natalia looked at her hands, spread out on the grass. "It's hot." She stated.

"Yes, that's why I chose this dress." She pointed to the short sleeves, ending in a white ribbon. "It lets my arms cool off. But still the heat can get pretty bad."

Natalia nodded and pulled off her coat. Lili held her breath. The coat slipped off easily. She folded it and placed it before her, glittering with stars on the lapel. Underneath the jacket she wore a tight white tank-top. Lili tried not to look at her chest, but did anyway. After a second she noticed a necklace hanging down her smooth neck.

"What's this?" Lili raised her hand, bringing her finger dangerously close to Natalia's chest.

Natalia touched the necklace and held it out. It was a small silver bird. "It's a gift from my brother." She said curtly. "Don't tell me you're one of those country thieves."

"No! I would never steal from anybody! Brother told me that that was very wrong."

"Your brother taught you well." Natalia tucked the necklace under her tank-top. Her collar bones stuck out. The chain threw shadows into the pockets where the skin curved. "I met your brother last year, actually."

"Oh?" Lili remembered her brother disappearing for an entire day. He said he was visiting someone in Moscow. He didn't come back until late that next morning.

"Yes. It was before I joined the army. He spoke with my brother about something. I don't know what it was, exactly, but it had to do with war."

"How…?"

"Yes?"

Lili, bashfully, focused on the sunflowers before her instead of Natalia. She felt almost betrayed. Her brother refused war so much and he runs off to talk with some man about it! "How can you fight in a war? You kill people."

"I don't kill people like the men out in the field."

"You still kill someone?"

Natalia said nothing. At length, she collected her jacket again, stretching out her feet. Her pitch black boots swallowed sunlight. "I really shouldn't be here. I don't even know what made me talk to you."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't know. I need to think about it. But I can't be caught loitering about with the villagers. They'd think I'm shirking my work."

"Natalia…?" Lili said as Natalia stood up, brushing grass from her skirt.

"Yes?"

"Is it… Oh! I haven't thanked you for that fish. I forgot. Do you like sweet things, like cake?"

"Why do you ask?" Natalia's eyes were tinged with distrust.

"I want to make you some. It was supposed to be a surprise, but what if you don't like them?" Lili's thin brows furrowed.

"No, I like them… thank you."

"Will you come here tomorrow so I can give you some?"

"I'll see if I can."

Lili grinned, shyly at first, then the grin became a smile. "All right, I'll bring them as soon as I can!"

Natalia gazed at her for some time.

"Lili, do you have a boyfriend?"

"My brother would kill him if I did!" Lili laughed.

"Oh," Natalia's expression fell.

"Why do you ask?" Lili pulled her legs beneath her. She placed her hands in her lap. Natalia blushed furiously. Her hair was done up in a complex braid knotted into a bun, as before, but without the hat.

"Do you want a boyfriend?" she asked in a voice so low Lili almost couldn't hear her.

Lili curled her lip and bit it. "I," she paused, humming in thought. A breeze rustled the leaves. Natalia's eyelashes were transparent.

"Yes?" Natalia had a contorted expression, firmly concentrated on the sunflowers.

"I don't want one," Lili said at last. "I don't."

"You don't what?"

"I, this is hard to explain, but I'm not interested."

"Oh?" Natalia's eyes lit up, almost hopefully.

"I mean, I've seen boys look at me and I've had one or two flirt with me. I refused not because my brother would kill them, which usually is why most boys didn't really talk to me. Sometimes I forget Vash is a brother and not an overbearing father! It must look like an abusive relationship, but it's not. Vash loves me very much. He cares a lot, but he doesn't know how to show that he cares for me except for being violent… Where was I? Oh, right, well, when they talk to me I don't feel right. I feel like there's a barrier that I can't get across. I mean, I can befriend them just fine, but when I consider the idea of a boyfriend, it feels almost gross. Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No." Natalia looked around uncomfortably. "I better go." She put on her jacket and didn't say goodbye. Lili watched her leave. Natalia must really hate good-byes. Lili wondered why that was.


	3. Chapter 3

"How come when you refer to those visitors you say your brother's cousins, not your cousins collectively?"

Natalia chewed thoughtfully on the sugared cookie, shaped like a flower. Calm wind traveled through the grass, ruffling the sunflowers' petals. Lili gazed at her feet, unsure of how to answer. She was still in shock that Natalia had come at all to see her at all. A basket sat between them, filled with the cookies wrapped in a pink handkerchief. Vash still hadn't returned home. She began to worry.

"I just never thought of Vash's cousins as my cousins," she said softly, "They're distant from me. Sometimes they can be nice, but most of the time they forget about me. I doubt they really like Vash very much either."

For some reason or other, she had found herself describing the German and Austrian cousins that came by every once in a while. Natalia was a great listener. She loved storytellers and rarely spoke unless she needed to. That is, unless she was friendly with the person. She told Lili herself earlier that day.

"I see." Natalia said.

"Do you have any cousins?"

"Yes, quite a few. Only one of them comes by most of all, Felix, he lives in Poland…" her voice fell and her eyes clouded.

"What—" but Lili didn't need to ask. "Is he…?"

"No." Natalia said, shaking her head, "But he's a transvestite. They'll snatch him up eventually. They've gotten the Roman people, the Jewish people, the homosexuals…" her voice fell on the last word. She looked around uneasily.

"Transvestite, doesn't that mean he dresses like a woman?"

"Yes, and he's very lovely too. He looks good in pink. He's very nice and extremely smart. His best friend tries to protect him, tries to tell him to just put away his cosmetics for a little while, until this blows over. Until then Felix hides. I don't know where, I wouldn't dare find out where."

"Why would they take him for dressing like a woman?" Lili asked, worried, "If he looked really bad they still wouldn't have to! And then why doesn't he just become a woman and no one will know the difference?"

"It's not as easy as that." Natalia brushed her fingers off on the napkin Lili provided her. She left a trail of powdered sugar behind, digging them out of her fingernails. Today her hair was in a long braid, down nearly to her hips. When she moved it swayed like a pendulum. "It's wrong, apparently, to be any of those things. They're pests."

Lili shook her head in disbelief. What was wrong with any of those things? Vash rarely spoke about them, especially those of uncommon sexualities, and when he did it was with indifference, something like latent shyness tinged the edges of his words and thoughts.

"Homosexual… The way people say it sounds like an insult." Lili said.

"It does, doesn't it?"

They sat quietly for some time. Across the field children were playing with balls and sticks. Their screeches filled the air. Merchants carried carts through the streets. The man who owned the bookstore at the very corner was sweeping before his door, his curly brown head ducked. Next to him, by the café, a young couple from Spain where drinking coffee. The woman rubbed her pregnant belly, her brown hair tied up. She laughed at something her husband said, almost hysterically. The husband had a look of disgust. Lili couldn't see them very well from this distance, but she had a sense that something was off in the refugee couple. As before, a group of people were gathered on benches and near the heart of the town, easily seen from their position on the hill, and they chatted away in Italian or, sometimes, in French.

"Natalia, do you like women?" Lili asked suddenly, disturbing the peace. At once Natalia's eyes turned misty and troubled. She didn't respond. Then, quietly, "I do."

Natalia rounded on her, eyes wide. Her lips parted. Her cheeks crimsoned to the color of ripe cherries. "That's a dangerous thing to say, Lili. I could turn you in at any moment."

"You wouldn't."

"You've known me for three days. How can you tell?"

"Women can look into each other's souls more easily than men."

That quieted Natalia down. Still troubled she looked anywhere but at Lili. Lili began to wonder if she had said the wrong thing, a rare occurrence for her. She fell quiet in uneasiness, in fear. After what seemed like a thousand years, Natalia began to speak again in a whisper.

"I do too."


	4. Chapter 4

Vash entered the house at one in the morning. He looked in to find Lili still awake, sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. She fingered the red cover, the German title down the front in gold. She jumped when he shut the door behind him.

"What are you doing up?" he muttered, his voice was off.

Lili didn't respond, blinking away the sleep in her eyes. She pulled the blanket she wore tighter around her. He eyed it and grunted.

"Where'd you get that?"

She still didn't answer. The blanket around her wasn't hers. It was black and red, with dancing animals along the rim. Natalia had loaned it to her when she had gone home at nearly nine.

"Take this," Natalia had said, pulling the blanket from her purse. "I meant to use it today so we could sit on it, but the grass was dry." She tossed it over Lili's shoulders, his fingers lingering a fraction of a second too long. Then she smiled and went off, leaving Lili to walk another few steps to her house. Vash still wasn't home.

"It's a gift," Lili mumbled at last.

"You didn't answer my first question." His words were jammed together. He didn't open his mouth and his eyes swam with pain. His hair was dirty. He had been gone for nearly a week. He sat down gruffly across from Lili, bathed in the watery yellow lamplight.

"I couldn't sleep so I just sat out here. It's been lonely without you." She explained.

He scoffed loudly. "What a lie! Whoever gave you that blanket, and don't pretend I don't recognize that Russian design, kept you good company. At least I don't have to worry about you getting pregnant." He kept his head down or his left side hidden. Lili frowned.

"Show me your face." She commanded him, her voice more demanding than it had ever been.

Vash looked taken aback. Slowly, he raised his face. A dark purple bruise painted his left cheek. A gash was under his eyes, stitched up. The reason for his slow voice was the wire clenching his jaw. "Glad you had fun while I was gone." He said, simply.

"What were you doing?" She said, almost hysterically. What had caused that bruise on her brother's face? Sure he was crazy with artillery, but he rarely got in fist fights. In fact, she could only remember one instance when he pulled out his rifle and fired, but it was a warning shot at some kid loitering in their garden. The crack of the gun rang out through the entire night. The stars seemed to shake in the heavens. Lili had pulled the covers over her head, quivering.

The brother that sat before her was changed. He was gaunt, older than before. His eyes ceased glittering, taking on a resigned air. He shook when he moved and the stringy muscles in his hands twitched.

"It's nothing. I'm sorry for being short with you. Go to sleep." He stood up heavily, dragging his feet behind him. Even his hair seemed a softer yellow. Lili sighed, setting the book to her side. It was the German translation of Tolstoy's _Anna Karenina. _Lili cast it one last glance, wondering what would happen next. She promised Natalia she would read it, since it was one of the spy's favorite novels.

The following day Lili told Natalia about what had happened. Natalia thought about it. She sighed heavily and leaned her head forwards. Her hair, free, spilled down her shoulders. She was off duty, wearing instead a long blue skirt and loose-fitting white shirt. Lili wore her favorite pink summer dress, with matching ribbons in her hair behind her ears. The air was still, clouds gathered in the horizon, threatening to spill into the land.

"I have to make a hard decision." Natalia said at last.

"What do you mean?" Lili turned to her. She felt her heart thud wildly in her heart. She had forgotten Natalia was a spy. She had just exposed what could be a vital piece of information. If Natalia kept it to herself she could get hurt. If she exposed it, Vash would be hurt. It was all Lili's fault. She felt tears spring to her eyes. She was about to bring doom to the two people she loved most. She didn't need to ask further. Natalia didn't need to explain. She saw the hurt in Lili's eyes, clouded, misty, foggy hope.

"I'll do what I can." Natalia said at last.

"I made a mistake. I made a horrible mistake." It came crashing down on her. She shivered despite it being warm.

"Are you cold?"

Tears poured down Lili's cheeks. She wiped them hastily. She wished that she could crawl into some rabbit hole and forget it all. Her heart burned with shame and guilt. She didn't even know what Vash had gotten into. Soon she would know, she knew, but not in the way she wanted. "No, I'm just… What have I done?"

"Look, it may not even be important," Natalia said gently, leaning towards Lili, closer than she ever had before. Her slender nose brushed Lili's cheek.

Lili turned and found her hand encased in Natalia's. Their fingers tangled together. Lili couldn't stop shaking. Her eyes wandered to where Natalia's were. She was close, so close… She could smell Natalia's sweet scent of flowers, of her soft perfume, of her soap. All of them were so clean, unlike the gruff, masculine scent that Vash sometimes emitted without realizing it. Lili leaned into Natalia. Natalia wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, pulling her to her breast. Lili could hear Natalia's heart thudding.

"You know my brother, he should be fine…" Lili said. Then she froze, her muscles tensed.

Natalia knew her brother.

Lili knew her brother.

Lili was a bridge. All Natalia had to do was cross that bridge to get information from Vash.

"No." She whispered. Lili pushed Natalia away. Natalia looked at her in bewilderment.

"What's wrong?"

"Were you using me?"

"What?"

Then again, Vash knew that Natalia was hanging around Lili. If Natalia was an enemy he would have shot her dead by now.

"You made me love you just to get this information?"

"No and—wait, you love me?" Natalia asked, frozen still. Her breath refused to come. Her cheeks turned dark red. Lili didn't respond. Instead, she gave a quick, tiny nod. Natalia leaned back from Lili, gazing at herself, then at the sky, then anywhere but at Lili, just like before. Natalia wrapped her arms around her middle. "Why?" Natalia asked at last.

"Why what?" Lili shot back.

"How could you love me? No one does. I'm a witch. I'm cold, unfeeling, obsessed…"

"No, you aren't."

Natalia leaned forwards again, closer to Lili than before. She parted her lips, her long ovular face cast into shadow.

"Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart," Lili said. As she looked into the cool eyes before her all her fears and worries evaporated.

"I… I love you too…" Natalia managed. Then she was closer and closer. Her lips were warm. Lili kissed her. And that was all that mattered in that moment. She forgot about the war, about Natalia being a spy, about Vash's wired jaw, about the entire world in those lips, thin, delicate, against hers.


End file.
